My high school life is done. No more studying in class. No more talks about countries’ silly affairs and historical figures’ wackiness. No more protesting in class, begging a teacher to postpone a certain feared exam. No more hanging out at the canteen during recess.
This is just depressing. Like, I know this day was coming, but I just didn’t see it coming this fast. Time went by like a blur. Over the last few months it’s been monotone and boring, with try outs and motivational quotes and the stacks of questions teachers gave us for practice. But I enjoyed parts of it nonetheless. There’s always a laugh I could look for, moments to be forever encrypted into memory. Sure, they’ll be twisted into perfection, because we tend to savor the sweet things and focus on them more. That doesn’t change the fact they’re what I’ll have left. That, a yearbook, and various trinkets I’ve kept over the last three years or so.
I’m angry. I didn’t do my best. Both in studies and in life, though I’m mostly angry for the latter. I could’ve done a lot of things differently. Make time for my real friends more, drop the fake ones sooner. Stood up for what I loved doing harder. It’s too late for that now, and I’m happy where I am. It’s just my “what if” instinct kicking in, I guess.
They say you’ll never know how valuable something is until you lose it. I disagree. I know the days I’ve gone through are valuable. I just didn’t think I’ll be this sad once it’s over.
Well, there’s always memories. :)