Hello, little trouble maker.
It seems I’ve written a lot about you, but never really wrote to you. My, my, what kind of person would that make me? Beating around the bush like that just won’t do. So here’s a little letter (may not be the only one) for you.
You just love watching me get flustered, don’t you? Well, I do too—watching people get flustered, that is. So it’s not like we’re contradicting each other. But, in all seriousness, you got me pretty good this time. Kudos to you! A problem worth flustering over.
I know, I know. It’s not actually a real problem. It’s just a condition. Still, it’s an annoying one for me. A troubling one, considering how emotional I can get. But it’s what we both like about me, isn’t it? How deeply I feel is as much of a curse as it is a blessing, but even if it’s the former, it’s one I’d contently choose to live with. :)
Do you know what I like about you, heart? You never cease to amaze. How much you carry, how strong you affect, how big a portion you take in one’s life—it’s awesome, really. You’re awesome heart.
So, let’s get to the (somewhat) more poetic part of this letter, shall we?
Little trouble maker, here are my promises to you:
I promise to acknowledge you for your worth and never shut you out. I promise not to deny when I’ve been caught. I promise to let myself feel and not place a clot. I promise to live with you ’til the day I die (not that I have much of a choice, ha!) and never question you “WHY!?”. I promise to accept what you’ve chosen, I promise to tell when it’s appropriate.
When circumstances break you, I promise to let myself hurt to heal. I want you to remind me that it’s painful because it’s real. I promise to be thankful for sadness and happiness, love and hate, fear and courage, confusion and confidence. I promise to take care of you and pay attention to what you need. I promise that when I know you’re right, I’ll force my head to heed.
Little trouble maker, I’m sorry for the neglect and from now on I’ll repent. If I fall into the same hole twice, I’ll crawl out all the wiser and hope not to get tricked trice. I’m sorry for cursing and fretting and wishing you’d go away. As much as you could be bad for my health, I genuinely plead you to stay.
Thanks for staying alive, and fighting back when I need to see the things worth living for. My gratitude can never be enough.
I’ll stick with you (and my head too, but you know what I’m getting at),