To My Beloved

I wish I knew
I fell for you
Before I realised it
Apart we grew

I’m still curious
Of what could have been
Could we have made it?
The idea of us together
So bizarre it seemed

It’s been a while
Since you were in my heart
But you’re still on my mind
You’re one of a kind

Now it’s too late for words
So I’ve decided to write
Of what I want to say
To tell you in person
Someday

I’m sorry
For acting out on you
For using you
For taking you
For granted

I’m sorry
For not paying attention
Never seeing how you’re doing
Only fulfilling my satisfaction

I’m sorry
For not listening
For leaving

For I knew you left
But only physically
I abandoned you
That’s mean
I’m mean

I’m sorry

Thank you
For sharing
For caring
For bearing

My fits of rage
My pranks
Not fit for my age
My never-ending rants

* * *

Thank you
For understanding
For knowing

When I want to be alone
When I’m lonely
You paid attention
Genuinely
You were never a phony

Thank you
For taking care of me
For helping me with things
And all the while
Not even knowing what you did for me

Thank you
For teaching me about what matters
About staying you
About being the way you want to

Thank you

I wish you well
And each blessing you can get
And every smile that you can share
And wherever you are
I hope you’re happy there

I wish you love
I know you’ve found it now
I’m still searching for mine
I’ll find it somehow

I do pray you these
Along with roses and bliss

And we were never in love with each other
(Or at least that’s what I know)
So I’ll never call you my lover

And I tried to find a saying that’s proper
And I did–it’s in the title to this letter

You weren’t everything I desired
But still someone I admired

Farewell to thee,
My beloved

Began: October 14th 2013, 12.44
Ended: January 10th 2014, 00.13

I made this poem in two parts, according to the dates above. It's been bordered with the triple "*".